TIGER WOODS--PART 1

the shocking news blasted out of cable--TV--satellite--radio--cell phones--internet--
Tiger Woods has committed adultery--did I hear right? was that ADULTERY?---O.M.G.!---
WOW!!! his faithfull wife at home--and America's hero is out studding it up with cocktail waitresses--porn stars--and other beautiful girls eager to throw their bodies at the world's greatest golf player--who also just happens to be a billionaire! now why would girls want to do that? WHY?

and Tiger---is this the same Tiger with that youthful innocent face?--that heart warming boyish grin?--that nice sweet young kid with the fairy tale career and marriage? you're sure it's the same Tiger we see in the news all the time?---smiling--looking so gentle and carefree?--THAT TIGER? I need lasik! my eyes deceive me

can you believe it? can you REALLY believe it? one young guy--his only weapon a golf club and a small round bal---
later

steve lopez contest rap

steve lopez, columnist who writes for the LA Times--had a contest a few weeks ago--to tear apart Manny--the hot shot hitter for the LA Dodgers--who steve thought wasn't even trying to win games or even cared to win---i sent my entry in to be read in rap style--i didnlt win but i should have-----

Mannywood baseball--had it all--slipped into freefall
gave you love and hugs--you gave us lie and drugs
a sensation---on female medication
devoid of steroid--paranoid--your hustle lost its
manly muscle--unglued-fans booed--your once
exalted place--Manny--get a
Nanny--and wipe disgrace off your face